I Want to Behold the Love of God

Father

I want to behold what manner of love you have bestowed on me, that I should be called a child of yours! And that I may take comfort in that the world does not know me, because it did not know you either. Beloved Father, now that I am your child; and it has not yet been revealed what I shall be, but I know that when you are revealed, I shall be more like you, for I shall see you as you are in your full glory and majesty. And everyone who has this hope in you purifies themselves, just as you are pure.

Whenever I commit sin I also commit lawlessness, and sin is lawlessness. I ask you to forgive me when I do. I know that you were manifested to take away my sins, and in you there is no sin. If I abide in you then I do not sin. Whenever I sin that means that I have neither seen you nor know you. You know me though and how much I desire to know and be your child for all eternity. Let no one deceive me, Lord. When I practice righteousness then I am righteous, just as you are righteous. You say in your word, “He who sins is of the devil, for the devil has sinned from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil.” please protect me and my family from the devil and his schemes. Destroy all the work of the devil that he has tried to do in my life and in the life of my family.

You also say in your precious word, “Whoever has been born of God does not sin, for His seed remains in him; and he cannot sin, because he has been born of God.” Sometimes this verse is so discouraging to me Lord. I try real hard to not sin and to do all you ask of me but I feel that at every turn I make I have a whole pile more of sins that I have done. Often I realize that the guilt I feel is not legitimate guilt but many times it is legitimate guilt. Teach me to know the difference and help me not to feel guilty when I am not guilty Lord.
You say in your Holy and inspired Word, “In this the children of God and the children of the devil are manifest: Whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is he who does not love his brother. For this is the message that you heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.” Help me Lord to Love others and to let you shine through me everyday so that others may be let to you through the work that you have done in me. Let my past and present pains be to your Glory and use it to help others know you and heal them of their pain. Let me not be as Cain who was of the wicked one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his works were evil and his brother’s righteous. You say that if we hate someone in our heart then we have murdered them. I know I would not physically murder anyone but Lord I do struggle with hatred at times. Please help me and cleanse me with your Holy Spirit. I beg this of you. Cleanse my mind and heart. They are both sinful by nature and only you have the power and ability to cleanse them Lord. I do not marvel if the world hates me because often I struggle with self hatred and I know this is not of you. Please forgive me and help me to learn to love the woman that you made me to be and to be the woman you made me to be. Help me not to be someone else nor to compare myself with others either. Whenever I do that I am not accepting who you desire me to be. Although many times I wish you had made me different but I am beginning to realize that I would just have a whole new set of problems, maybe not the same ones, but problems none the less. Problems come in all shapes and sizes. I know that I have passed from death to life, because you have loved me and saved me. I want to love others because if I do not love others then I abide in death and I do not want to abide in death. If I hate people I am a murderer and everyone knows that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him. I want your eternal life abiding in me always Lord. By this I know you love me, because you laid down your life for me on the cross of Calvary. And I know that you also want me to lay down my life for others.
You say, “Whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?” help me to always have open hands and give to those in need. Even though many times we too seem to struggle with things. If I do give to those in need that is me not just loving in word and in tongue, but in deed and in truth. This is the loving that will really show through in hard times. And by this I know that I am of the truth, and shall assure my heart before you Lord. For if my heart condemns me, you God are greater than my heart, and know all things. And if my heart does not condemn me, then I have confidence toward you, Lord God. Whatever I ask I will receive from you Lord, because when I  keep your commandments and do those things that are pleasing in your sight that is when you also delight in doing something for me. Even if I never find out in this life or if I only will receive my reward in Heaven. And this is your commandment: that I should believe on the name of your Son Jesus Christ and love others, as you have commandment me. I want nothing more than for you to abide in me and that I may abide in you. And by this I will know that you abide in me, by the Spirit whom you have given me. Amen.