JUDGE -- (enters wearing black robe, crosses to bench or podium, pounds gavel) This court will come to order. Send in the defendant.
DEFENDANT -- (begins protesting offstage, entering backward wearing handcuffs) I'm telling you I'm innocent. I haven't done anything.
JUDGE -- (opens file folder, reads) Case number 546781. The charge is public nudity.
DEFENDANT -- (turns) Public nudity?! Do I look naked to you?!
JUDGE -- (pounds gavel) Order in the court. (pounds gavel, points gavel at Defendant) In my court you will not speak unless spoken to.
DEFENDANT -- But I don't even belong here. The cop who arrested me has obviously been smoking a foreign substance. Because I....
JUDGE -- (pounds gavel) I don't remember asking you a question. Would you like me to add contempt of court to your charges?
DEFENDANT -- No, Your Honour. I'm sorry. I'll be quiet.
JUDGE -- Thank you. (reads, inquires) Now, does the defendant meet the qualifications for this jurisdiction?
DEFENDANT -- What qualifications?
JUDGE -- This is a spiritual court room. You must be a Christian to be tried in this court.
DEFENDANT -- Well, I AM a Christian. That's why these charges are so obviously bogus.
JUDGE -- Are you aware that the Bible clearly instructs Christians to put on the full armour of God?
DEFENDANT -- Well, yes. But I don't see....
JUDGE -- But according to the arrest report you were seen in public wearing only the helmet of salvation and nothing else.
DEFENDANT -- I'm not sure what that means.
JUDGE -- That means you were guilty of public nudity.
DEFENDANT -- That's ridiculous!
JUDGE -- (pounds gavel) Excuse me?
DEFENDANT -- I'm sorry, Your Honour.
JUDGE -- Do you know what the armour of God consists of?
DEFENDANT -- Can you give me a hint?
JUDGE -- I thought not. Do you know what spiritual maturity is?
DEFENDANT -- Well, ah...
JUDGE -- Naked as a Jay bird.
DEFENDANT -- I beg your pardon?!
JUDGE -- Guilty as charged. (raises gavel)
DEFENDANT -- Your Honour, please! I... (softens) Your Honour, I submit myself to the mercy of the court. (head down)
JUDGE -- You once submitted yourself to the mercy of the Lord, did you not?
DEFENDANT -- Yes, Your Honour. I want the Lord to use me. But I'm not sure what he wants me to do.
JUDGE -- Were you waiting for the Lord to tattoo his plans for you on your forehead?
DEFENDANT -- Well, no. But what does that have to do with public nudity?
JUDGE -- One of the most important pieces of the armour of God is the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
DEFENDANT -- Oh, so I should read the Bible?
JUDGE -- Can you think of a better way for the Lord to tell you what he expects from you?
DEFENDANT -- Well, no. I guess I can't. I guess I've been a pretty lame Christian, huh?
JUDGE -- Listen, if you go out into the world without putting on the full armour of God, you're naked and helpless in the midst of a raging spiritual battle.
DEFENDANT -- Oh, I'm SUPPOSED to be a Christian soldier!
JUDGE -- What kind of a soldier goes into battle wearing only a helmet?
DEFENDANT -- I can put on the other stuff too.
JUDGE -- Can you really?
DEFENDANT -- Yeah. It doesn't sound so tough.
JUDGE -- Putting on the armour of God is not something you do once and then neglect it. A soldier must put on his armour every morning.
DEFENDANT -- I'll do that, Your Honour, I really will!
JUDGE -- Very well, then, I'll suspend your sentence. (pounds gavel, exits)
DEFENDANT -- (follows) Thank you, Your Honour. I...
JUDGE -- Go... (flicks with back of hand) Put something on!
DEFENDANT -- (stops, looks down at self, gasps, notices audience) Oh. (turns back to audience, exits sideways) This is really embarrassing.
-Bob Snook-
Ephesians 6:10-18 (NKJV)
10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.
11 Put on the whole armour of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.
13 Therefore take up the whole armour of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness,
15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.
17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God;
18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints—
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